Q (33) and A (6) are sitting on a bench in a park.
Q. Hi, can I ask you something?
A. Hi. Yes.
Q. So you know how there are some days when you feel happy and other days when you don’t feel so happy?
A. No.
Q. Okay, but some days you feel more like playing with your friends and then some days you don’t feel so much like playing with your friends?
A. No.
Q. Well, that’s great. But do you maybe have a friend who sometimes likes to go out and play and other days he doesn’t?
A. No.
Q. How about your dog, does he sometimes wants to play catch, but then some days he is not in the mood?
A. It’s she. And no. Why?
Q. Well, I would like to try to explain something to you. But it looks like I’m not going anywhere with this.
A. But why?
Q. Why would I like to explain something to you?
A. Yes.
Q. Because you’re not supposed to understand complex ideas and I need help with clarifying my complex ideas. I don’t really think that they are complex at all, so you shouldn’t really have any trouble understanding them, so yes, I guess in a way this whole exercise is futile – but bear with me alright?
A. Yes.
Q. Thank you. So, do you know of anyone or anything that sometimes wants to play and sometimes doesn’t?
A. Yes.
Q. Who?
A. Our neighbour’s cat, his name is Ripley. Sometimes he comes around and wants to play and cuddle, and then other times he is gone for days and days.
Q. Cats, of course. How did I not think of that. So, what do you think happens to Ripley when he doesn’t come around to play?
A. Maybe he’s playing with someone else.
Q. That could be. But, could you imagine that he doesn’t come to play because he is sad and doesn’t want to leave his house?
A. No.
Q. Alright. This is going to be harder than I thought.
A. But I know what sad means.
Q. You do?
A. Yes. You don’t?
Q. I think I do. I might have over-complicated the question. In any case, how do you feel when you feel sad?
A. Sad.
Q. Makes sense. And does anything help you when you are sad?
A. Yes.
Q. What?
A. My friends. And my dog. And mom. And dad.
Q. That’s great. Really nice to hear that. Does watching cartoons help sometimes?
A. I get sad when I watch cartoons.
Q. What makes you sad about cartoons?
A. When someone gets lost.
Q. Does it then make you happy when they are found?
A. Yes.
Q. Alright. Let’s imagine that moment when you’re happy that someone was found.
A. Okay.
Q. That is the feeling I want to talk about in my film.
A. How can you talk about feelings?
Q. Fair enough. I guess I don’t know, that’s why I need to make a film about it. To say something that I’m having trouble putting into words.
A. But it’s about cartoons?
Q. No, it’s about art in general. It’s about how I get happy when I look at art that I like.
A. Are cartoons art?
Q. Of course. I mean, some of them are.
A. Which ones?
Q. Whichever ones you think.
A. But it’s art only if it makes me feel good?
Q. No. Well, maybe… I’ve never thought of it that way.
A. You might be thinking too hard about it.
Q. You’re probably right.
A. Thinking sometimes makes my head hurt.
Q. I know exactly what you mean. We’re getting a little sidetracked so would you mind if we went back to the topic?
A. OK.
Q. So this feeling that I’m trying to talk about, or show, or I don’t know what to do with it, it is the feeling of being less lonely, less unhappy about myself and the world, and I get this feeling only when I look at art. Now, I realize this might sound silly and weird to you, because you have family and a dog and great friends to comfort you-
A. No, it makes sense.
Q. Wonderful. So, obviously, this is too abstract to be the theme of my film. But I think I’ve come up with a story. Do you want to hear it?
A. OK.
Q. The story is about a thirty-three-year-old man who finds himself at a junction in his life. Do you know what junction means?
A. No.
Q. It means crossroads. Do you know what that means?
A. The place where you cross the road?
Q. Precisely. Please interrupt me anytime there’s a word you don’t understand, okay?
A. Yes.
Q. So this man finds himself at a crossroads. Mind you, this is not a literal crossing of a road, but a metaphorical crossroads. Do you know what metaphor means?
A. No.
Q. A metaphor is when we use a material thing to explain something that is not material. For example, if I wanted to describe to you how it feels when my head hurts, I say that I feel like my head is going to explode like a balloon. Does that make sense?
A. Yes.
Q. So that’s the kind of crossroads this man finds himself at. It marks a point in his life when he must decide which way he will continue. I’m not even going to ask you if this makes sense because it can’t at this moment, but trust me, there will come a time in your life too when you feel like this. What I’m trying to say that this is not a bad feeling in and of itself, but the choice you make can influence how you feel in general. At the beginning of the story this man decides that he will not stay living where he is and continue doing the work that he is doing right now and that he will move to another country pursue this other thing that he wants to do. The first thing he does when comes to this new place is enrol in a film school.
A. What’s a film school?
Q. It’s a school where you learn how to make movies. Kind of.
A. OK.
Q. The thing is, he doesn’t really know what kind of film he wants to make. He has some ideas but has trouble connecting them into something that would make sense for a film. But then something happens. He stumbles upon a film by a filmmaker he had never heard of before. He likes this film so much that he feels like he has found a friend. Someone who understands what he’s going through, someone he could talk to. But this is all in his head.
A. When does the story start?
Q. None of this makes sense to you, does it?
A. No.
Q. Okay. Give me a moment to think.
A. OK.
Q. Do you know what a documentary film is?
A. No.
Q. It’s a film that talks about real people and real things, instead of imaginary ones. Does that make sense?
A. No.
Q. Alright, let’s imagine that I take my camera and I start recording us. This conversation, as it is happening. OK?
A. Yes.
Q. That would be a documentary. It would show a real thing that happened. But if you and I were to, for example, act two characters from your favourite cartoon, that would be an imaginary situation.
A. But it would still be us.
Q. You’re very much correct. That there isn’t really a difference between fiction and documentary. In any case, the film I would like to make is a so-called documentary film about this Belgian filmmaker, Claudio Pazienza. The reason why I want to make this film is because I think that he is an important artist. Firstly, he is important to me. His films resonate so strongly with me that I feel like sometimes he is reading my mind. I happen to think that this is the purpose of art. He makes personal films but makes them fun and accessible and though provoking. Even though he makes films about himself, when I watch them I feel like I’m having a conversation. I would like to make a film that feels like a conversation. But I don’t want to film a conversation. I have been exploring the idea of a portrait film that is in equal measures a self-portrait. This is maybe what I mean to make a film as a conversation. Do you know what a portrait means?
A. No.
Q. A portrait is a picture of another person. When you try to capture the essence of another person in a work of art. Essence is the most important thing about a person. It doesn’t have to be the most important thing for everyone, but it’s the most important thing for you. Or in this case, for me. Does that make sense?
A. Kind of.
Q. That’s good enough for me. And so the reason why I think this could be an interesting film is precisely because I would make it. Because I never would have found Claudio’s work if I hadn’t done the big change in my life and moved from my home country to another country. As much as it is supposed to be a film about another filmmaker, it is a film about me trying to find my place in a foreign place.
A. I think I have to go now.
Q. Perfect timing. I don’t really have much to add right now. But thank you for listening, you’ve really helped me a lot.
A. OK. Bye now.
Q. Goodbye, take care.
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